Screaming Thoughts on a Blank Screen

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“Screaming Thoughts”

by Talin Mari

 

Sitting in my room, without a sound to be heard,

Waiting for my thoughts to loudly fill the room,

My blank computer screen yearns for any typing.

Why do my thoughts want to stay silent today?

 

While I drive, they scream and pout without shame,

Mile after mile, yelling randomly during the drive,

My occupied hands restrain me from writing them.

Why, oh why, must you tell me your ideas now?

 

Eating with friends, my time for companionship,

Laughing, my thoughts cry louder than my friends,

My only hope is that no one can hear the giggles.

Why do my thoughts laugh out these ideas now?

 

While I wait in my room, I turn off my computer,

“File them away!” I say, stomping out of the room,

My hope has been shattered by their long silence.

Why is it that they suddenly begin to shout again?

 

Stop!

I must return.

The beautiful screams!

I hear them louder than ever before.

The temptress in my thoughts begins to roar!

“Write! Write! Write!” they yell and I obediently listen.

 

The End

 

 

 

Chaos in the Waiting Room

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Patience Blog on Bored Kids

The other day, I quietly waited in the dental office scrolling through my Twitter account and reading through my Facebook feed. It was a typical day, nothing out of the norm. It was the usual routine to keep myself busy while waiting the endless wait at the dental office.

Next to me sat an older lady, possibly a grandmother or a nanny, with two elementary aged boys. At first, I thought it was adorable that both boys wanted to sit next to the grandmother or nanny. It was at that point that all of my beautiful images of this family began to slowly crumble.

The boys did not want to sit still. They wanted to watch the fish and walk around the waiting room. They were, after all, being curious boys exploring the room. The boys were not being disruptive. They were just being boys. The older lady started to yell at them. She was annoyed that the boys would not sit down next to her. How can any elementary aged child sit still without any form of entertainment? It’s almost like imprisoning them for being bored. She could have asked them to play a game like counting the fish or, better yet, brought something to entertain them from home – a book may have been nice. No, the yelling seemed to resolve her problem, but cause everyone else in the room to be agitated by her lack of patience.

After I left the dental office, I began to wonder whether we have become a world of impatient people looking for perfection. I suppose you can say that I too was impatient in that I relied on my social media to keep myself entertained. Nonetheless, I found a way to entertain myself. I’m sure that if I didn’t have entertainment, I would also be running around exploring the dental office – though I’m not sure how that would look.

We all need to create boundaries, but in situations where children will be completely bored, we need to accept responsibility and help them find a way to resolve that boredom. The dental office had so many magazines. I’m sure the older lady could have found an imaginative game to play with the children. She could have done a “Where’s Waldo?” kind of game where the children could have searched for a car or a dog.

Constantly scolding the children did not solve the old lady’s problem. It only made the children throw a tantrum, get yelled at loudly, sit for a moment sulking, and continue again with their initial activity. It was a cycle that continued throughout the time we waited.

The old lady could have prevented the drama if she spent time with the boys. After all, these boys were not toddlers. They were just bored. All that’s needed is patience and creativity to solve most problems….

Why Write? – My Story

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Why Write? – My Story 

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Why I decided to start writing…

People often say that your dreams are possible as long as you keep trying.  Well, what happens if you are continuously faced with an obstacle?  An obstacle that keeps pulling you back similar to a sticky gum that is stuck on your shoe and doesn’t want to come off.  When I was a teenager, I faced one of the most difficult challenges in my life that I have continuously fought back.

Imagine being in the prime of your teenage life, when, one day, everything starts to change.  I went into my doctor’s office and was told that I had a chronic illness.  I looked like I had anorexia and felt so depressed.   My doctor gave me a video to watch which had people talking about how their lives had changed and that they would never be normal.  It was the most depressing video I had ever seen!  How could I not be normal?  I wasn’t any different today than I was yesterday!

After watching that video, I decided that I was going to stop feeling sorry for myself.  I had always felt ashamed of being sick.  Was it really my fault?  I was determined to create a symbiotic relationship with my chronic illness.  I was going to gain my strength from my deficits.  I started to analyze whether my initial career goal of becoming an attorney was really what I wanted.

After much thought, I went into Finance, but had a soft spot for writing.  I wrote about how I felt and my uncertainties on any given day.  I reevaluated everything in my life and was determined to live.  Every time I made progress in my accomplishments, something would happen to remind me of the horrible words I had heard in the doctor’s video stating that my life would never be normal.

My health seemed to bounce back and forth just like the sticky gum stuck on the bottom of a shoe until I discovered that my main culprit was gluten sensitivity, the reason for my chronic illness.  I have been on a gluten-free diet for several years now.  I have been able to create substitutes for gluten-free cooking on almost everything.  Fortunately, with so many people being diagnosed with either gluten sensitivity or gluten intolerance, there has been a significant increase in the number of gluten-free products found in stores.

Back to why I decided to start writing…

Writing has been the peanut butter helping peel off the sticky gum when nothing else seems to take it off.  It has been my avenue of normalcy.  It has helped me realize that the sticky gum can come off….

The Strength in Being You

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Throughout history, spectacular people have contributed to society by not being part of the norm.  Almost everyone has heard of Albert Einstein not being able to tie his shoelaces.  Yes, he was different.  His differences were the reason for his great contributions to society, such as his theory on special relativity, E=mc2, that contributed to the establishment of nuclear energy used to power most of the households in the United States.  There is nothing wrong with being different.  It’s important to embrace your uniqueness and strive to achieve positive results from your strengths.

There are no two people alike in this world.  Even identical twins that share the same looks and possibly the same experiences are not the same.  Each of us is a cluster of thoughts that form and grow as we begin to socialize.  Every person we meet is another idea that we use to form perceptions in our mind.  The world we see is what shapes our views.

Unfortunately, some of us are not as fortunate as others.  We may not have the fancy cars or the big house or the most ideal health, but that does not mean that we are not able to strive to become our optimal self.  Nothing is impossible to achieve, unless one believes it is impossible.  As long as you have courage and will, you can achieve all that you want.  It just takes patience and determination.

The most important step in achieving our goals is to accept who we are and embrace all of our differences.  When I worked as a Strategic Planner, it was first and foremost important to realistically determine where the company stood in its current state.  The same goes for people.  It’s important to know who we are and accept the strength in our differences.  By knowing what our differences are and loving ourselves, it’s easier to achieve our goals.  Albert Einstein did not stop from aspiring to help mankind because he could not tie his shoelaces.  He knew it and still achieved greatness.  We can all achieve our own personal greatness by loving our differences.

Craving the Written Word

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Feelings… emotions… desires.…

Lately, I have had a deep desire to write poetry for my blogs.  Although it is customary for me to write an essay type of a blog with my opinions, writing is an art that involves all forms of expression.  One can communicate with an informative article or an emotional poem.  Writing is more than just an expression.  It is a feeling.  It is a way to communicate one’s happiness or utter despair.  The biggest mistake one can make in writing is not to feel what is written.  With my feelings ready to be released, this blog will end with a few poetic lines.

 

Yearning for the Pen by Talin Mari

How many hours are left in the day?

How much time do we have to spare?

I crave that moment to be all alone,

I desire that instance when I can say,

All my words, though some do not dare,

All my thoughts, ready to be grown.

These are the seconds I hold true,

These are the times I feel for you.

Stress is Best- What?

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When I was in high school, one of my teachers asked me what my favorite thing was in life.  With my Type A personality at my side, I truthfully answered, “I love stress!”  Looking back at those days, I have to say: “really?”  What was I thinking?  Stress does not need to be overwhelming in order to achieve what one wants in life if that goal is truly something that one loves to do.

Exploration is an essential part of discovering the different opportunities that exist.  Some students may not enjoy going to school, but school helps show students the different fields of study that are available to many.  Without an education, how would someone become a doctor if that person does not even understand the human anatomy?  An education provides the tool that we can use to achieve our personal best.   It is a time of learning, whether it is learning to play an instrument or the rules of a football game.   It is a time of exploration.

Creativity is also important.  There are structured ways of doing everything, such as writing an essay or a poem.  What would happen if you change those rules a little to express your individuality?  Do I have to have a thesis with three supporting paragraphs for this blog? Hmm…. Is writing “hmm…” even allowed?  There are no two people alike.  Thinking outside of the narrow walls of structure will help us contribute to society with our newly found innovative ways in science and the language arts, among other fields.

Back to my topic about stress, it’s important to do what you love to do.  If you are happy in the field that you have chosen to pursue, whether it is writing or accounting, the stress may exist, but it will not be overbearing.  The hours you spend achieving that goal will not feel like an eternity.  No one really loves stress.  What was I possibly thinking?

Poetic Reflective Words

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Reflective Words

By Talin Mari

 

Words are healers,

They know how to soothe pain.

Words are menders,

They patch holes without shame. 

Words are waders,

They migrate before the rain.

 

Life is the avenue,

It has several roads left to explore.

Life is the morning dew,

It leaves its sign gently on the floor.

Life is the ocean blue,

It softly brushes up against the shore.

 

Words are the tools,

Life is the setting.

Words are the jewels,

Life holds in its netting.

Words are so precious,

Life is ever so precious.